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  • rebecca lian

Owning Your Power

There are a lot of different things that can happen in our life at any point that may make us feel like we lost some of our power. Whatever it is, we usually make it a goal - whether we realize it or not - to own our power again. It's a huge phase in our healing. That phrase, "owning your power," can mean something different to everyone – to me, it's all about empowerment and doing whatever makes you feel good and most yourself.

Now, these are just my thoughts... I'm no certified expert here by any means; I just have a passion for this sort of thing and wanted to share that with whoever is open to reading this. Anyway, here's what I believe are some key factors in owning your power:

Know Your Self-Worth | This is a must. If you know your self-worth, the next few pieces may come more easily. But how do you determine your own worth? It's not really measurable. I think it has a lot to do with self-love and maybe even holding the belief that you are worthy of whatever it is you desire for yourself. Or maybe just valuing yourself the same way you value the people you love. What I do know is your self-worth is not about your physical appearance, your financial situation, your history, your job, etc.

Set & Respecting Your Own Boundaries | Once you know your self-worth, you are better equipped to determine boundaries for yourself – and actually respect them. The more you start to honor those boundaries, the more you will believe in your own value and the more confidence you will gain. I will admit that this is where I've always struggled the most, but learning to say "no" and actually sticking to my boundaries has been one of the most empowering and liberating experiences ever. You can even start with a simple boundary like setting aside at least thirty minutes just for yourself, and not answering any texts or calls during that time.

Confidence | This doesn’t come naturally to everyone. Even the people you might think are naturally confident most likely struggle with insecurity too. Confidence isn’t always what you are though – it can also be what you do. If you practice self-love and believe in your self-worth, your confidence will benefit as a result. Honoring promises you make to yourself, no matter how big or small, also helps boost your confidence by that much more – an idea I learned from Ed Mylett's podcast.

And if you don't believe yourself to be confident, but you want to be, then fake it! You know how they say some actors end up actually taking on the personality of the role they're playing? Well, just decide for yourself that you're a confident person. Just because something doesn't feel natural doesn't mean it's inauthentic. You can become it if that's what you desire. Start presenting yourself with a more confident demeanor and slowly but surely you will actually feel more confident. There are actually studies that show how body language affects confidence, which they speak about in this Ted Talk that I really love.

Truth & Honesty | Being honest is so empowering. I mean that in all ways – being honest with yourself and with others. It's just as important for others to know the truth as it is for your to speak it. Of course, it's all about delivery. There's a difference between being honest with someone and being flat out mean – but I'm not here to write about the basics of human decency. I'm just saying that it's important to always be truthful in your words, your intentions, and your actions. If you're having a hard time being honest with someone else, just remember that staying true to yourself means staying true to others. And if you stay true to who you are – or who you want to be – then you will be able to live being unapologetically you, and I promise there is nothing more freeing than that.

There's a lot more that goes into it, but I think that these four pieces are pretty foundational. I'd like to end with something much lighter though, and remind you that "owning your power" looks different for everyone. I believe it's about doing whatever brings you true joy and makes you feel most yourself. For me, that can be as simple as blasting my favorite songs in the car and singing at the top of my lungs – or treating myself to a coffee and just deciding I'm going to have a great day! I think that is honestly the best feeling – just deciding that you're going to have a great day and seeing that you actually have the power to make that happen.

Whatever it is that you may be going through, I hope that you find it in your heart to take back your control. This is your life, and you are the author, the driver, the pilot, the director, you name it! It starts with you, and you got this – I believe in you!


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